With friends like these...

Unfortunately we are all to aware of the nature of those barbarous apes who run Saudi Arabia, and I think we lose a little of our national soul every time the Dear Leader engages in a little homoerotic handholding with them of the like we saw in Crawford a little while back. Daily Kos has an interesting piece of the internal goings on in our other bestest buddy, Pakistan. The story of Dr. Shazia Khalid is horrific, but unfortunately not unique. Remember, Pakistan is our ally in the worldwide struggle for freedom.

Reality TV

Braves won last night, but they almost blew it in the 8'th and this gave me an idea...a new reality show based on Survivor. We take the Atlanta Braves and put them on a plane to the Kalahari, but when they get there only Dan Kolb gets off. Before he can scramble back on the plane, it takes off leaving him nothing but an aerosol can labeled "bug spray", but in reality it's lion pheromones. Can we make this happen? Who do I have to call?

Where's my broom?

Just because I've been on the road for the past couple of days and am now ensconced in the middle of nowhere, don't think that I haven't noticed that the Bravos swept the Nats to go 3 games up in the NL East. They had a good run but at the end of the day the Nationals are still just the Expos. Like the old saying...you can put a dress on a pig, but you can't take her to the prom. (sigh, if only) Plus I have never been that impressed with Frank Robinson's managing abilities. Just because somebody was a hall-of-fame player doesn't mean that they will automatically make a good manager. However now that they are in D.C., with some people watching them, they have a chance to be a real big boy baseball team, but not yet.

In the meantime the scrubs, I mean rookies, are still turning it up for the home team. This is why Bobby Cox is the best manager in the game bar none. Year in and year out he gets the most out of his players no matter what talent level they have. The Braves payroll gets smaller every year, and the turnover in players is huge compared to most teams, yet the Braves keep on winning. If you compare the rosters of the Braves and other winning teams from the last few years the Braves really do not have as many superstars in their midst. Sure you will find Gary Sheffield, and Greg Maddux among others, but these guys come and go with great regularity. The heavy lifting always seems to be done by Marcus Giles or Horacio Ramirez and the like, not exactily household names. Now where can I go to get my Jeff Francoeur jersey?

Manly thoughts

Chopped down an old birch this morning here at the familial homestead. There's something about using a chainsaw that makes you feel like a man. Now I'm going to drink a beer and go find me some A-rabs!

Ramblin' man

Like swallows to Capistrano, and septuagenarians to Florida I too must migrate from time to time. That is why tomorrow I will point the kim-chee powered love machine eastward towards one of the ancestral homelands. New Hampshire, the only state that mentions death on the license plate, where “Yup” is considered a complete sentence, where maple syrup is an aperitif.

In between there will be two days of turnpike driving. Picture it…service plazas, AM radio, and unrelenting swamp butt. If all goes well I will be spending tomorrow night in Buffalo. (Now there’s a thought that would brighten anyone’s day) All that for topographical diversity and cheap lobstah.

Real estate news

There’s doings a happenin’ here in the greater Murray Hill-Lake Park-UWM-North Avenue Metropolitan area. The house across the street from me just went on the market. I discovered this fact by the ultra high-tech method of watching the real estate schlub put up the post for the sign in the front yard. (BTW, is there anything more satisfying than watching a person in a suit and tie doing manual labor? I think not!) Anyhow it’s a nicely restored turn-of-the century Victorian with 4 bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, on 3 stories. And at $339,000 it’s good value for the fashionable East Side. Get this; according to the real estate peoples the Master Bedroom is 23 ft X 23 ft!!! That’s…umm…gimme a minute…529 square feet. That’s bigger than most apartments around here. Perfect for anyone who can’t sleep in anything smaller than a bloody gymnasium! Pack it full of cots and screaming babies for the popular Florida refugee motif. Does the room come with the JV girls cross-country regional championship banner, or do you have to suppily that yourself? You could position your bed under the scoreboard and use the buzzer as an alarm clock! Would that be good fung shuei?

Anyhow feel free to come and look but be warned this house is directly across the street from my building, and the second story windows look directly into my living room. Since I live alone, I frequently fail to see the need for clothes. And when I crank up the stereo I gotta dance! Ever seen a naked fat man get funky? Ooh the jiggles. So move in if you so desire, but the booty shakin’ stops for no one.

I hate summer

It's too damn hot to update the blog. I have nothing funny or interesting to say. Seriously it hit triple digits today. But the good news is that there is no global warning, I saw it on Fox News!

Now in first place...

Your Atlanta Braves!!! Yay!! (Sounds of thunderous applause) Well tied for first really, but it is abundantly clear that the Braves and Nationals are headed in two drastically different directions: The Braves towards another National League East title, and the Nationals right to the bottom of the Anacostia River. The Nats collapse of late is reminiscent of many a Cubs team that stumbled and fell in the late summer heat.

With Chipper back and Hudson pitching again the Bravos are right on track to be where they should. Because you can’t completely choke in the playoffs if you don’t make it in the first place!!

China raises the Yuan

This is good news. China’s central bank has detached the Yuan from the dollar and they are allowing it to float on the world market. (sort of) Since 1997 the Chinese currency has been pegged at a rate of 8.277 Yuan to the Dollar. This policy kept the Yuan artificially low making Chinese imports cheaper, and American exports more expensive.

This has been a major stumbling block in trade talks between the U.S. and China, and the recent move while not revolutionary, is a step in the right direction. However as I alluded to earlier the Yuan will not float completely free, the level of the Yuan is still determined by financial planners in Beijing and they have the ability to set the trading level wherever they choose.

I really would like Ted Bush to comment here seeing as that this is his area of expertise.

The couch

The Daily Show is required viewing here at le maison du Chipper. However the new set has been met with mixed reviews (to put it mildly) The biggest mistake was ditching the famous couch. Now there is a movement to bring it back. Go here to register your support.

Golden Turkeys

I know that this is old news, but since my blog was not up and running at the time I feel the need to comment, now. Just what the hell is going with the alma mater? All this crap just to go back to Golden Eagles!?! How many millions of dollars went down the drain for this PR disaster? That’s it. I want my money back. I mean it, the Marquette experience was great and all, but my degree turned out to be nothing more than an artfully decorated chunk of toilet paper. The only thing I have from my Marquette education is the ability to tap a keg, pour the perfect beer, and a shaky connection to an intermittently successful basketball team. Give me my money back and I can start all over again. I can move to South Carolina, go to Bob Jones University where I can major in, I don’t know, what do they have…Jew baiting I guess.

New Art Kumbalek

Man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? This week's Shepherd Express has two columns, not one but two, from Art Kumbalek, and it’s not even my birthday! On the second link scroll down to the middle of the page to read Art’s piece.
Edit: OK, so the links didn't work. Until I get better at this computer stuff just copy and paste into your browser.
http://www.shepherd-express.com/7_21_05/art.html
http://www.shepherd-express.com/7_21_05/cover.html

Flippity flop

So a bunch of college kids wore flip flops to the White House. Big fuckin' deal. The things that the media chooses to care about never cease to astound me. Did we run out of missing blonde women all of a sudden?

And we're off!

And the winner is...some white, conservative guy. Wow, didn’t see that coming. John Roberts worked hard at building a portfolio of anti-abortion, anti environment writings and rulings. The question is do Democrats and centrist Republicans have the cajones to stand up. Let the games begin!

Bracing myself

The Dear Leader is going on TV tonight to announce his Supreme Court nominee (9pm, 8 Central) And I for one am all a thither waiting to see just what knuckle-dragging, religious wacko Chimpy is going to pull out of the primordial ooze. I plan on being drunk for the announcement, it helps.

Them Jones boys are at it again

I hate West coast games, but this time I didn’t mind staying up. Atlanta defeated the still Bond-less Giants last night 6-1, but that’s not the best news. In his first game since early June Chipper came back and homered in his first at-bat. Not to be outdone Andruw doubled up on Chipper adding 2 more shots into the cheap seats. All this was complimented by, yet another, fine Jorge Sosa pitching performance. Things are looking up.

Welcome

In the immortal words of the recently deceased, ’92, independent, vice presidential candidate James Stockdale, “Who am I? Why am I here?” The better question seems to be why are you here? Do I know you? Or are you just pissing away an afternoon on the web surfing random blogs. In the case of the latter, just how bored are you? Seriously, this is why we don’t have a cure for cancer. Instead of doing something productive you’re here looking to see if I’ll say anything crazy enough that you can send to your friends. What’s your next stop? wackoconspiracytheories.org, or perhaps you’re headed to barelylegalbiscandanaviansluts.net shame, shame. Anyhow welcome to my blog, feel free to comment and spend as much time as you like. And if you still want to visit the Scandinavian sluts site drop me an E-mail, I’ll let you use my account.