Chances are that if you are reading this you already know me. But if you are a stranger and you are looking for left-of-center political opinions, rambling, senseless rants, and coverage of the Atlanta Braves that can only be described as severely manic-depressive...Welcome!!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

We're number-hic-one

So Milwaukee is the "Drunkest city in America" All those who are shocked please raise your hands. Anyone...anyone? Buller...Buller? Now I know why I live here because anywhere else would consider me a raging alcoholic, here I'm a "social drinker"

Anyway I know I'm the last of the small blogging commune we have here to post this tidbit, but I am the only one with the Lewis Black quote.

"I love Wisconsin. I love coming here. I perform here a lot, because I've discovered that you people apparently have some sort of federal grant for drinking. It's - you're insane! You pay less for liquor than anybody I know anywhere in the country. Nobody pays less for liquor than you! What'd you, wh- ho- HOW? I don't know if you're using that farm subsidy money, or if you're just hijacking liquor trucks, but this is fucking insane. It's unbe-fuckin'-lievable. It's staggering! I come here 'cause basically if I spend four days here drinking, even with the plane ticket it's cheaper than drinking in New York! How do you know when it's New Year's? That's the big mystery to me! What's the difference? I've been in bars here, and it's like New Year's every fuck night! Oh, New Year's, that's when w-w-we drink with hats on. Now I've been drunker here than any place else I've been in my life. And remember this: you are not, you are not alcoholics. You, and my hat is off, are professionals" - Lewis Black.

Now I'm off to Club Brady for their $10 bottomless mug night to celebrate in style!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Friday plane porn

No Friday plane porn last week because I was away and had no regular access to computers. But there is reason to celebrate now. The first picture on Friday plane porn that was taken by yours truly. Yes, for the first time I can post plane pics and not look over my shoulder for the copyright police. So without further delay I present to you a United 777 backing away from the gate in Denver on its way to Honolulu.



Christ that sucks!!! Well what do you expect? This was taken with my cell phone. Anyway I love the T7, just a great plane. United sucks however. Flying coach on United makes you long to be a Jew on your way to Dachau, but the T7 rocks!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Friday plane porn

Running, no time...So here is a pic of a 747.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Ummm...

Saw this on CNN about 20 minutes ago, speaks for itself.

CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) -- A man accused of sexually assaulting nine boys with physical or mental disabilities told a judge that having sex with children is a sacred ritual protected by civil rights laws.

Phillip Distasio, who said he is the leader of a church called Arcadian Fields Ministries, represented himself at his pretrial hearing Wednesday. He is charged with 74 counts including rape, pandering obscenity to minors and corrupting another with drugs.

"I'm a pedophile. I've been a pedophile for 20 years," he said in Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Court Wednesday. "The only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms."

Yeeeaahhhhh, the article goes on from there, and I'm noticing a pattern. There are never any atheistic or agnostic child molesters. They always seem to be priests, Cub Scout leaders, (who are not allowed to be non-religious) or leaders of wacko sects. Even when pedophiles turn out to be average Jon Does their first line of defense is that they are good, church-going Christians. So is there something about believing in God that makes people find 13 year-old boys smokin' hot?

I don't have an answer to that question, I'm merely releasing it into the ether.

Wiki wiki wack

I have discovered the greatest tool for time wasting ever. At least the greatest that does not require lotion, and a box of tissues. I am, of course, referring to the random article button on Wikipedia. I recently discovered Wikipedia in all its awesomeness, information on every possible subject, a virtual cornucopia of useless knowledge containing almost 1.3 million articles at last check and growing by the thousands every day. Now I understand that Wikipedia is written and edited by literally thousands of people with their own agendas, and this can lead to biased information sneaking in. But that bias is easy to spot, and sometimes it can be downright hilarious therefore adding to the whole experience.

But by far and away the best feature is the random article button because it can take you to articles that you never would have looked for yourself, and this has added considerably to my own useless knowledge reserves. For instance; bios of obscure Canadian politicians, (Is there another kind?) Argentine soap operas, detailed demographics for every pissant South Dakota farming town, and a team-by-team, season-by-season breakdown of the Israeli soccer league. (I've put 500 Sheckels on Hapoel Tel Aviv to take the State Cup this year, and if they don't then oy, is the world just messhuginah I'm telling you!)

I can sit for hours just pressing the random button and feeding on whatever comes up. Some of it is interesting, most of it is not. So I tend to skip through some articles at the same speed that I flip through the block of Jesus stations when I am channel surfing. As a matter of fact that gives me an idea. I hereby coin the term...

Wikisurfing (wee/kee'/sur/fing) V: The act of randomly clicking through Wikipedia pages at a high rate of speed. Ex. I was Wikisurfing when I saw a picture of your mom on the crack whore page. Past: Wikisurfed

I've gotta go now, Webster's will be calling any minute.

Cudahy + Alcohol =


'Nuff said